ADOPTION: Blog Post #32, Chapter 23 – Prayer and Love Cover a Multitude of Sins

This week’s blog post is an excerpt from my book, ADOPTION: Encouragement and Advice for a Hopeful Journey. Chapter 23 – Prayer and Love Cover a Multitude of Sins, speaks to all Christian parents….

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.         I Thessalonians 5:16-18

If it wasn’t for prayer, I might be an alcoholic. Parenting is difficult for those without a foundation of faith, and parenting adopted children requires direct and immediate connection with the Lord God Almighty for strength, wisdom, and patience! How many times have I cursed out of frustration instead of choosing to pray? If your ‘default’ mode during crisis situations is not currently prayer, then switch your brain to that operating system immediately!

Prayer is, or at least should be, a two-way, ongoing communication with the God of all Creation. He created us for a purpose, and He created our children for a purpose. He knows each of us inside and out. He understands what makes us tick, and is aware of all our flaws. His Son, Jesus Christ, willingly came to earth to show us how to live. Jesus constantly prayed to his Father. With His dying breath on the cross, He cried out to God in prayer. Christ died on that cross for our sins, and was resurrected in order that we might have eternal life with Him. He sent the Holy Spirit to be our Comforter. With the Triune God on our side, what else do we need? Nothing.

It is easy to say that you, or I, will pray without ceasing. It is harder to do it. In our sinful flesh, we would rather retaliate in the moment, and ask for forgiveness later. A difficult thing I think any parent faces when raising a child, is to not get caught up in his emotions during the heat of the moment. Instead, we need to catch our breath, seeking the Lord in that instant as to how to react and what to say. In that split second, it seems easier to sin against God, than to seek Him.

A habit of prayer can be cultivated. Like any other life-long habit, the earlier you start, the better. I have been going through some really challenging issues with a couple of my adopted children while writing this chapter — if I could only walk my talk! I have come to see that there are several things I can do to be proactive in my reactions to their difficult behaviors.

  • First, I can start my morning ahead of the rest of my family, enjoying a time of personal devotion while drinking my coffee. Reading one chapter of the Bible, then praying for Him to show me how I can put into action what I have read, and ending with a song in my heart of a favorite hymn, sets a righteous and cheerful foundation for the day ahead.
  • Second, I can stick to our planned routine for the day because all children do better with a routine. If I get distracted and off-course, my children will also, and then chaos ensues. I need to pray to stay on course, and to pray to get back on course when distracted.
  • Third, as situations arise, I can breathe first, pray second, and act third. In just a few seconds, I can diffuse the situation, connect with the child causing the problem, and reach a resolution quickly. If I don’t take these three actions, then I react negatively, the situation volcanoes, and I have disconnected with my child, causing more problems.

I have learned to pray when I rise up, constantly throughout the day, when I lie down to sleep, or awaken in the middle of the night. I often have my children join me in prayer during the day, including at each mealtime, and when I am dealing with a child regarding an issue.

(Chapter continues in book.)

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