ADOPTION: YOU CAN DO IT! Blog Post #8 – Family on Board

Posted October 1, 2016

Today’s excerpt from my latest book due out in November: Chapter 3 Family on Board – Loving, Respecting, and Treating Adopted Children the Same as Your Biological Children

If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask Him? Matthew 7:11

Since we were blessed with our first set of adopted children, we have made a conscious effort to treat all of our children the same, whether step, biological, or adopted. Now, perhaps uniformity can’t be achieved in all tasks of parenting, but in loving unconditionally, giving good gifts, and wanting great things for them, it can be—and has to be—equal. Adopted children are to be loved and provided for the same as our biological children, just as God adopts all of us into His family, and wants good for each of us.

What it means in your heart is that you would do anything, including sacrificing the best years of your life and involving your personal dreams or material desires, for each of your children, whether birth or adopted. It means you would learn what you needed to learn, earn what you needed to earn, go where you didn’t want to go, do what you didn’t want to do, become the person that God is molding you into while you are kicking and screaming, because they are all your children, regardless of how they came to your family.

What it means concretely is that you give good gifts to each and every one of your children. Families should not be overly materialistic, and parents should be exercising good judgment. In our modestly-living family, good gifts to our children include gestures such as leaving daily love notes on schoolwork. Good gifts of opportunities include weekly music lessons. Good gifts of special events range from family parties for birthdays to special food for the holidays. Good gifts of material items might be art supplies on monthly shopping trips or stopping for ice cream on weekly errands. Good gifts of my precious and often limited time are often the best good gifts and include spending time at the park in town, weekend board game night, or simply a long session of fellowship at mealtime. I endeavor to give good gifts as generously as possible to each and every one of my children, and to do so equally.

Each child is different in their personality, needs, and desires. Each reacts in a different way to correction and discipline. A loving parent learns the nuances of each child and works with those to bring out the best in each child. Equal isn’t always exactly the same; equal can mean similar or equivalent. Still, you will know if you are favoring certain children over others, and I would encourage you to catch and correct yourself if there is an imbalance.

sharimcminn

Shari Howard McMinn is an author, editor, farmer, writer, and most importantly Mom to 11 children. Widowed very unexpectedly on June 2, 2013, Shari continued the direction of her life built with her late husband, Cary, and launched her public speaking and writing business which he had often encouraged her to do. Drawing from her 'over the top' life, she writes non-fiction and presents PowerPoint talks on issues related to family life, including adoption, childhood nutrition, family economics, homeschooling, and proactive parenting. She is available for broadcast interviews and presentations in Colorado and surrounding states, as well as Florida and Georgia. A dynamic speaker, Shari engages the audience with her true-life storytelling and practical advice based on experience and biblical wisdom.