AYCDI – Preamble excerpt
The preamble of ADOPTION: YOU CAN DO IT! contains background information on why and how I came to write this Husband-Wife Date-Study . Here is an excerpt:
….The format of this book is designed for married couples to read one Chapter/Date separately or together during the week. Then, on a pre-arranged day and time that same week, to discuss with each other the three Reflection/Discussion Questions, culminating in a CREATIVE DATE. There will be some weeks when the pre-set date has to be rescheduled a day or two later, but the important thing is to count on it, and look forward to the communication and date with your spouse! It will take about one and a half years to work through the book, weekly. This may seem like a very long time for a book study. However, 18 months is about the average time it takes from the initial ‘considering’ stage of adoption, through to the ‘placement’ stage. It is also perhaps the average time it takes from your child’s ‘homecoming’, through ‘honeymooning’, to arrive at the challenging ‘surviving’ stage of becoming a forever family.
Improved marital communication is foundational to staying happily married and successfully raising children, especially adopted children. While there is no research which shows a divorce rate statistic among Adoptive parents, it is important to remember that among Christian marriages the divorce rate is currently estimated at 10-25%*. Regardless of statistical accuracy, divorce of his/her adoptive parents for an adopted child means one more loss, one more trauma to have to overcome. We can presume that since it is God’s design for marriage to be a lifelong covenant, it is best for children, too. The larger Body of Christ’s goal should be that parents remain happily married throughout their lifetime, with their children joyfully at home until emancipation.
Each chapter/date contains what I believe to be helpful information, and is meant to be a jump-start for couples to further consider, discuss, and research each topic as their desire, need, and time allows. After reading through PART ONE, couples may choose to go directly to a topical chapter/date in PART TWO which is pertinent to their current family life. A book is meant to be read in the chapter order it was written from beginning to end. However, if you want to skip ahead to a relevant topic, I fully encourage you! Please come back and read the rest of the Chapter/Dates in between at some point. Whatever you do, please do not skip the Reflection/Discussion Questions and the CREATIVE DATE prompt at the end of each Chapter/Date. Just as Communication is an essential foundation for marriage, intimate Fun as a couple is the cornerstone for a treasured marriage….
