Adoption: Encouragement and Advice for a Hopeful Journey

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Hard copy available now!

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Radio Interview About Domestic Adoption

Broadcast November 12, 2018

Listen to the radio interview hosted by Adam McManus featuring Shari McMinn, author of a the book: Adoption – Encouragement, and Advice for a Hopeful Journey.

*Radio interview with Shari starts at minute mark 7:29*

My Video Interview About Adoption

Episode 152, broadcast June 4, 2017

Watch the video interview with Bob Weeks and Shari McMinn, author of a new book called Adoption – Encouragement, and Advice for a Hopeful Journey.

My Radio Interview About Adoption

Broadcast April 12, 2017

Listen to the radio interview with Kevin Swanson and Shari McMinn, author of a new book called Adoption – Encouragement, and Advice for a Hopeful Journey.

*Radio interview with Shari starts at minute mark 11:47*

Learn about my journey writing this educational and encouraging book:

ADOPTION: Encouragement and Advice for a Hopeful Journey

A Husband-Wife Date-Study for Successfully Raising Adopted Children in the Christian Home

SCHEDULE: I am finalizing the manuscript for this current book project, which will be submitted to my professional editor on May 31, 2016. The edited manuscript will then be read for my publisher’s review and editing on August 1. My goal is for book sales to begin November 1, in celebration of National Adoption month. The book will be available in a soft cover edition, as well as a downloadable e-book edition through my publisher www.generationswithvision.com. The Kindle edition will be available through www.amazon.com.

TARGET MARKET: Married, Christian couples in one or more stages of their adoption journey: a) considering/researching; b) application/home-study; c) finalization/coming home; or d)raising adopted children/facing a variety of challenges. This book would also be an excellent resource for church leaders, extended family, and close friends who form the support system for an adoptive family.

PURPOSE: I wrote this book to share transparently our serious struggles and eventual successes in adopting 5 children from trauma backgrounds. I have written about both the beauty, and the ugly of adoption as a family ministry lifestyle. My ultimate goal is to assist Christian, married couples who read this book in the following ways: 1) gain an ‘eyes wide open’ understanding regarding adoption; 2) build a stronger marriage as the foundation for successful adoption; and 3) create a forever family which is bonded, secure, and connected in love. My family has worked through very difficult issues over the last 13 years, and now my children are thriving. The investment of time and effort we spent nurturing each family member, is producing tremendous fruit. I am ‘just a mom’ who has done a lot of research, lived in the trenches, and now wants to encourage other like-minded husbands and wives.

The book format consists of 80 short (2-3 pages) devotional style chapters, which can be read in one sitting. Husband and wife each read the chapter at some point in their week, individually or together, then enjoy a weekly date after together working through the reflection/discussion questions and scripture at the end of that chapter.

The ‘heart’ of the book, is the suggested CREATIVE DATES, which take 18 months if enjoyed after each chapter concludes. This time period is typically what it takes to go from a) application to placement; b) from placement honeymoon to overwhelming child crisis; or c) from overwhelming child crisis into a new season of trust and connection. Whatever stage of adoption a couple may be in, enjoying a new date routine of weekly communication and fun will strengthen their marriage, and refresh both as individuals.

During the first few dates, husband and wife will make a Treasure Chest together, filling it with slips of paper listing 100 CREATIVE DATE ideas. They will also assemble a Tool Chest of funny toys purchased from a dollar or thrift store, to use on their dates. These include such things as crayons, coloring books, hero costumes, flashlights, etc. In dating each other, husband and wife will bring to their marriage improved communication, laughter, memories of their early relationship years, and a richer appreciation for loving, trusting, and understanding one another. The dates are meant to be a lighthearted weekly respite from the struggles of parenting children from hard places, and can be enjoyed at home without having to hire a babysitter.

The book can be read all the way through in a short time if desired, or it can literally take a year and a half to read through. Regardless of the total time to complete, the couple should enjoy 18 months of dates to set a routine for weekly communication and reconnection for the years to come. After an initial read through, the book can be referenced by topic over an extended period of time as issues arise which need to be addressed. This is not just another book on adoption, but a marriage builder and family preserver.

I plan to begin blogging (and sharing on Facebook) with chapter excerpts of my book in early August of 2016. I will be scheduling radio promotions in November to be timed with the publisher release.

Because I believe this book will be a great resource, I want to encourage churches and extended family members to purchase this book to give to adoptive families. As an option for purchasing from my publisher, the softcover books will include a $30.00 gift card for an adoptive couple to purchase the suggested items for the CREATIVE DATES once they are given the book.

Table of Contents

Preamble

1. Dedication and Thanksgiving
2. Forward
3. Purpose
4. Disclaimer

Part One – The Call to Adopt            

1. Adoption: God’s Call to His Bride, the Church, for Orphan Care
2. Beginning to Consider Adoption
3. Family On Board – Loving, Respecting, and Treating Adopted Children the Same as Your Other Children
4. Fast Forward Parenting
5. Hello to Adoption, Goodbye to Some Friends and Family
6. Separation and Bonding
7. Character, Discipline, and the 10 Commandments
8. Bed Wetting and Other Frustrating Behaviors
9. Manners and the Simple Things in Life
10. Reality Hits- Adopted Children are Often Much More Challenging to Parent than Birth Children
11. Real Relationships – Face to Face
12. Long Term Goals and Short Term Gains
13. Finances, Monthly Budgets, and Subsidies
14. Bridging Past and Future Lives With Perspective – Successful Adulthood is the Goal
15. Relatives – birth and adopted
16. Race, Ethnicity, and an Expanded Heritage
17. Sibling Rivalry Like Never Before
18. Manipulation and Marriage – Staying Connected As a Couple
19. Anger, Emotion, and Calming Communication
20. Soul Soothing: Art, Music, and Hands-On Projects
21. Delayed Gratification
22. A Permanent Future – Stay Flexible, Stay Together, Stay Resolved
23. Prayer and Love Cover a Multitude of Sins
24. When You Just Can’t Go On – Parental Running Away, and Return
25. High Expectations, but Less Than Perfect is A-Okay

Part Two – Following the Call To Adopt: Topical Issues Involved with Adoption

26. Alcohol, Internet Pornography, and Mail Order Catalogues
27. Anger – Tempers and Tantrums
28. Bathrobes and Personal Modesty
29. Bedrooms
30. Behavior in Public
31. Birth Parents: Irresponsible Men and the Other Woman
32. Birth Parents: Encouraging Appreciation for Life
33. Charts and Other Practical Helps for Patterning, Routines, and Training
34. Choices: Controlling the Body versus Leading the Heart
35. Consequences: Natural, Imposed, and Punitive – What is Appropriate, and When?
36. Corporal Punishment and Other Discipline Control Versus Discipleship
37. Dangerous Behaviors – the Reality of Adoption
38. Depression and Suicidal Thoughts
39. Fear Versus Love; Forgiveness
40. Fight, Flight, Freeze
41. Guys Adventures, Girls Weekends
42. Hair Care and Personal Grooming
43. Health, Medical, and Therapeutic Appointments
44. Hobbycraft – Connected Relationship Builders
45. Holidays
46. Labels – Special Needs
47. Lifelong Learning
48. Love Languages
49. Nutrition and Diet
50. Obsessions
51. Older Biological Children are Invaluable and Need Validation
52. One-on-One Time
53. Parenting Differences in Dads and Moms – Avoiding Good Cop Vs. Bad Cop
54. Running Away
55. Safety and Security
56. Sexualized Behavior
57. Sexually Abused Children
58. Sin in All Its Forms – Control and Discipleship
59. Sleepovers, Friends and Birthday Parties
60. Stealing Food, Money, and Hairbands
61. Therapists and Outside Help
62. Trust Based Relationship Parenting
63. Time-out, Time-in, and Tomato Staking
64. 24/7/365 Supervision to Avoid Dangerous Problems
65. Work Ethic and Personal Property – Socialism versus Capitalism

Part Three – The Call To Adopt Answered: Is It Worth the Cost?

66. My Fair Lady
67. What the Bible Says About Adoption
68. What My Birth Kids Say About Adoption
69. What My Adopted Kids Say About Adoption
70. What Other Adoptive Parents Say About Adoption
71. What the Church Needs to Do About Adoption – The Problem of Age Segregation
72. After You Study This Book

Part Four – Persevering Through the Marathon of the Call To Adopt- Appendix

1. Suggested Resources
2. Helplist for Churches Assisting Adoptive Families
3. CREATIVE DATES: Staying Connected as Husband and Wife at Home for (almost) FREE