ADOPTION: Blog Post 36, Chapter 26 – Alcohol, Internet Pornography, and Mail-Order Catalogues
26. Alcohol, Internet Pornography, and Mail-Order Catalogues
I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance. Luke 15:7
When I was a kid, the worst thing a child could be exposed to in my community was a Playboy magazine stashed in a friend’s parents’ closet. We knew who the alcoholic parents in our white middle class neighborhood were, and we knew not to go to their homes when we went trick or treating, or to ride our bikes up their driveways. We read the Sears and JC Penny’s Christmas catalogues cover to cover and there wasn’t an underwear ad in them except for long johns. The cheerleaders of sports teams wore modest outfits, and there were no wardrobe malfunctions during the Super Bowl half-time show because it was non-existent.
What a world we live in now! What a scary world in which we raise our children! Parents often have enough issues with their biological children and technology, but adopted kids who are savvy to absolutely everything, it seems, might be alcoholics, porn users, and dirty magazine hoarders just waiting to happen! Why is it that trauma kids, even if they came to us as babies, are so drawn to sin in all its forms?
One of my children, at the age of eight, surprised me greatly one day when I was cleaning his room, organizing his dresser and desk drawers. The kids were all outside playing, and I had decided to be a nice mom and go tidy my kids’ bedrooms since they didn’t seem to be able to keep the clean clothes and the dirty clothes in separate areas so my laundry was doubling out of control. I was putting some crayons away (for a child young enough to use and enjoy crayons) when I opened a drawer and found all kinds of women’s underwear ads which had been neatly cut out and stashed for safe keeping. The child apparently could use scissors pretty well! Flabbergasted, I ran to my husband and told him of the situation.
We couldn’t figure out where the magazine photos had come from. Upon further inspection, we found several of my mail-order women’s clothing catalogues in lower drawers, all with the underwear sections missing. Oh my word! So much for my continuing to shop from catalogues! My husband, thankfully, agreed to talk with our son about the inappropriateness of the situation, while my job was to call and cancel the catalogues from our mailing address. Of course, it took months of still getting them—with me throwing them out the day they arrived—before finally they stopped coming.
An incident not too long after, taught us more things we needed to know about parenting adopted children. Mind you, we had older kids, but being the innocent, Christian, homeschooled children that they were, we had not faced some of what we were now facing with our children who had been adopted from ‘hard places.’
My husband and I never really drank that much alcohol at home, mostly because we couldn’t afford it in our frugal budget. One day, I asked one of my adopted children to reach into a kitchen cabinet to grab some candles for me. Being only five years old, she had to step up on a stool to reach it. While grabbing the candles, she asked me what the pretty bottle was for. I nonchalantly told her it was rum I kept for cooking certain recipes. Not thinking that much about her question, I went on about my work. The next morning as I was preparing breakfast, I wiped the counter because there was some brown liquid on it. Knowing I had wiped that same spot clean the night before, I began to connect the dots. I opened the cupboard and the rum bottle was right where it belonged. The rum, however, was completely gone! How did that little darling even know what rum was and that it could be consumed? Thankfully, it had been only about half full the day before. At that point, we knew we had better start purging our home of anything which could be misused for inappropriate behavior.
Today’s post from my book, ADOPTION: Encouragement and Advice for a Hopeful Journey, begins Part II – Following the Call: Topical Issues Involved with Adoption. Chapters are arranged in alphabetical order by subject so parents dealing with a certain issue, can go right to that specific chapter.
- Alcohol, Internet Pornography, and Mail-Order Catalogues
I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance. Luke 15:7
When I was a kid, the worst thing a child could be exposed to in my community was a Playboy magazine stashed in a friend’s parents’ closet. We knew who the alcoholic parents in our white middle class neighborhood were, and we knew not to go to their homes when we went trick or treating, or to ride our bikes up their driveways. We read the Sears and JC Penny’s Christmas catalogues cover to cover and there wasn’t an underwear ad in them except for long johns. The cheerleaders of sports teams wore modest outfits, and there were no wardrobe malfunctions during the Super Bowl half-time show because it was non-existent.
What a world we live in now! What a scary world in which we raise our children! Parents often have enough issues with their biological children and technology, but adopted kids who are savvy to absolutely everything, it seems, might be alcoholics, porn users, and dirty magazine hoarders just waiting to happen! Why is it that trauma kids, even if they came to us as babies, are so drawn to sin in all its forms?
One of my children, at the age of eight, surprised me greatly one day when I was cleaning his room, organizing his dresser and desk drawers. The kids were all outside playing, and I had decided to be a nice mom and go tidy my kids’ bedrooms since they didn’t seem to be able to keep the clean clothes and the dirty clothes in separate areas so my laundry was doubling out of control. I was putting some crayons away (for a child young enough to use and enjoy crayons) when I opened a drawer and found all kinds of women’s underwear ads which had been neatly cut out and stashed for safe keeping. The child apparently could use scissors pretty well! Flabbergasted, I ran to my husband and told him of the situation.
We couldn’t figure out where the magazine photos had come from. Upon further inspection, we found several of my mail-order women’s clothing catalogues in lower drawers, all with the underwear sections missing. Oh my word! So much for my continuing to shop from catalogues! My husband, thankfully, agreed to talk with our son about the inappropriateness of the situation, while my job was to call and cancel the catalogues from our mailing address. Of course, it took months of still getting them—with me throwing them out the day they arrived—before finally they stopped coming.
An incident not too long after, taught us more things we needed to know about parenting adopted children. Mind you, we had older kids, but being the innocent, Christian, homeschooled children that they were, we had not faced some of what we were now facing with our children who had been adopted from ‘hard places.’
My husband and I never really drank that much alcohol at home, mostly because we couldn’t afford it in our frugal budget. One day, I asked one of my adopted children to reach into a kitchen cabinet to grab some candles for me. Being only five years old, she had to step up on a stool to reach it. While grabbing the candles, she asked me what the pretty bottle was for. I nonchalantly told her it was rum I kept for cooking certain recipes. Not thinking that much about her question, I went on about my work. The next morning as I was preparing breakfast, I wiped the counter because there was some brown liquid on it. Knowing I had wiped that same spot clean the night before, I began to connect the dots. I opened the cupboard and the rum bottle was right where it belonged. The rum, however, was completely gone! How did that little darling even know what rum was and that it could be consumed? Thankfully, it had been only about half full the day before. At that point, we knew we had better start purging our home of anything which could be misused for inappropriate behavior.
(Chapter continues in book.)
