ADOPTION: YOU CAN DO IT! Blog Post #11 – Chapter 7 – Character, Self-Discipline, and the Ten Commandments

I hope you will read and enjoy today’s excerpt from my new book due out in December, ADOPTION: YOU CAN DO IT! A Husband-Wife Date-Study for Successfully Raising Adopted Children in the Christian Home

If you love Me, keep My Commandments. John 14:15

When we raise children, we are molding not only men and women who will bear our grandchildren, work in our communities, and vote in our elections, but we are raising our brothers and sisters in Christ. When one of my children is greatly disappointing me because of his behavior, I try to remember that I was once lost in the pit of sin, too. In fact, I still sin every day and need compassion and guidance from my parents, my mentors, my elders, and my Savior Jesus. Instilling godly character into our children is as much a lesson for us, as it is for them.

Sadly, in our fallen culture, we see the effects of sin and inappropriate behavior everywhere, every day. We can blame it on our government, on our schools, on classist/racist attitudes, but isn’t it just truly a lack of effective parenting for the most part? If a man and woman were to marry, live their lives focused on the Lord, procreate, and raise their children to this same high standard, wouldn’t most of society’s problems be non-existent? Well, in theory….

As adoptive parents, we have the colossal job of raising someone else’s child who is now our child. Even more monumental is to help little Johnny understand that his ‘bad’ behaviors resulting from sinful heart choices will have long-lasting effects on himself, his family, and society at large.

I think if we start with the basics, we will have more success. Some days will be harder than others, but in time, your hard work in parenting sinners will bear good fruit.

• Ask your child “What would Jesus do?” Point them to Almighty God for everything; this will help your child eventually try to do the righteous thing instead of the sinful thing.
• Christian values are more important than obeying all the rules. Christian values are the end goal; it is important to have ‘house rules’ based on the Ten Commandments, but keep it simple; model your values, forgive often, and pray for God’s mercy.
• Praise character, not just actions. High moral character is the end goal; point out and praise your child’s biblical character traits in the situation, not just good actions.
• Discuss with your child how his sinful choices affect everyone. Realizing how others are affected by his actions will hopefully motivate him towards righteousness, especially when it concerns people he loves and with whom he is close….